¡°Was it something I did?¡± you may ask yourself. ¡°What could have happened to make my cat so unfriendly?¡± Chances are, it¡¯s not something you did, but the cat¡¯s experiences as a young kitten, before it came to live with you, that made it so shy.
According to animal behaviorists the critical period for the socialization of cats is 2 to 7 weeks of age. This is the time when a cat¡¯s personality is shaped. During this period kittens should meet a variety of people and get used to being handled. If the breeder is the only person the kitten is exposed to, or if it is rarely held during this stage, it may end up as a fearful, timid or unsociable housecat.
Any mishandling during the socialization period can also make cats leery of humans.
¡°Maybe the children in the house have never been taught how to treat animals and then the cat has kittens and the children are exceptionally rough with them,¡± says Pam Johnson Bennett, a feline behavior consultant in Nashville, Tenn. It could be unintentional mistreatment. For example, someone accidentally steps on it or closes a door on the cat¡¯s tail. It doesn¡¯t take many bad experiences for a cat to learn to avoid people.
Littermates also have a part to play. ¡°Runts of a litter can grow up to be antisocial due to repeated intimidation by the bigger, more dominant cats in the litter,¡± says Sandy Myers, an animal behavior consultant in Naperville, Ill. ¡°The runt learns to stay under the bed or in some hiding place. So its territory shrinks and so does its confidence and sociability.¡±
And just as with people, each cat has its own individual temperament. Some cats are naturally more extroverted, others are more introverted. A cat¡¯s sociability may vary from person to person. Your cat may choose to be friendly around some people, but not around others. Or, maybe your cat¡¯s idea of being sociable is just different than yours. It may be content to enjoy your company with you on one chair and it on another chair three feet away.
However, even if your cat is not naturally friendly, there are steps you can take to motivate your cat to be more outgoing. Keep in mind that if your cat was not properly socialized as a kitten, it may never become really affectionate. But you can help bring it out of its shell to a certain degree. Here are some suggestions:
Let your cat call the shots
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to try to force a shy or fearful cat out of its hiding place or make it sit with you. Let the cat stay in its comfort zone. If your cat wants to stay under the bed, allow it to do so. If it wants to move away from you, allow it to do so. Wait for the cat to touch you before you touch it. Accept whatever contact your cat is willing to offer.
¡°By respecting your cat¡¯s wishes you are giving the cat the opportunity to see you¡¯re no threat. Your cat needs to know that it can check you out completely and feel trusting,¡± Myers says. Your cat will let you know when it¡¯s okay for you to approach. If your cat rubs against you, jumps in your lap or initiates play, these are signs that it wants to interact with you.
¡°Let the cat take the lead and you¡¯ll have success,¡± Bennett adds. ¡°We often try to skip steps and make the cat interact with us before it is ready. But as soon as you push, the cat backtracks.¡± Give you cat the time it needs to come around.
Play together
A good way to bring your cat out of its shell is by playing with it. Suppose company is over and your cat is hiding under the bed because it is afraid. ¡°If you play with the cat a little, it will get distracted and it will stop obsessing about those scary people in the living room,¡± Bennett says. ¡°Cats are predators and they get their confidence from going out and catching prey. When you play together, the cat focuses on being a predator, which makes it feel more confident because it¡¯s out conquering territory.¡±
Use an interactive toy, such as a fishing pole toy, feather teaser or other toy on a string. ¡°Interactive toys are good because they put a safe distance between you and the end of the toy,¡± Bennett says, ¡°which means the cat is able to engage in playtime and feel that you¡¯re not getting into its comfort zone.¡±
Reward friendliness.
You can motivate your cat to be more sociable by rewarding it when it does something you consider friendly.
¡°When your cat rubs against your leg, sits on your lap or displays affection in some way, reward it with praise or a food treat,¡± suggests Marilyn White, DVM, a clinical animal behaviorist with the University of California at Davis. ¡°By doing so you are reinforcing that kind of behavior and you can actually bring that out in the cat.¡±
Rewards work for two reasons: you are showing your cat what behaviors you like to see in it, and they allow you to become something positive in the cat¡¯s eyes. Your cat will learn that when you are present, it gets the things it really values, such as food, attention and praise. When you are home, that¡¯s when your cat gets to play with some special toy that you take out of the drawer or closet. When you¡¯re not around, the cat doesn¡¯t get those things. Your cat will associate you with pleasant things and want to be around you.
Know your cat¡¯s likes and dislikes
Be aware of where your cat does and doesn¡¯t like to be petted. For example, some cats like to be rubbed on their cheek but get nervous if you touch their back. Other cats become uncomfortable if you try to touch their head but as long as you pet their back, you¡¯re fine. Your cat will let you know where it wants to be touched. If kitty likes you to scratch behind its ears and you pick up on that, your cat is bound to become your friend.
Your should also know how long your cat likes to be petted. ¡°A lot of cats have limits on how much petting they like; they can only tolerate two to three minutes and then that¡¯s it, they¡¯ve had enough,¡± White says. If your cat jumps on your lap and after a couple minutes it stops purring or starts to act restless, that¡¯s your cue to stop petting it. ¡°If you continue petting your cat beyond its limit, you are likely to evoke aggressive, non-friendly behavior,¡± White says. Know how much physical contact your cat enjoys, and then don¡¯t push it beyond that limit.
Appreciate your cat¡¯s personality
Don¡¯t give up on the cat if it is not exactly the personality you thought it was or should be. ¡°Sometimes we think that the cute, cuddly kitten we adopted will automatically grow up into the exact cat that we pictured, either the cat we had before or it will be like a dog and it doesn¡¯t happen that way,¡± Bennett says.
Learn to appreciate your cat¡¯s unique personality and temperament. Give it your unconditional love and patience regardless, and eventually your cat is bound to come around. And you¡¯ll know how wonderful sharing your home with a cat can be.
Excerpts taken from article "Is Your Cat a Wild Cat?" by Rebecca Sweat from Special Issue of Pet Life Magazine
